Lost Letters
by WarmBodies4Life
Summary: (Steve Rogers/Fem!Bucky Barnes) While trying to dig up some info. about Bucky Barnes, Steve & the team stumble upon some letters she wrote to Steve during the war. Steve of course never got them because he left home to become Captain America. The Avengers and Sam aren't the only ones who learn some new things about Bucky. [Taking place in the: When Somebody Loved Me Universe]


When Steve enters the Captain America exhibit in the Smithsonian, he can't believe how much stuff they have. Things that he thought were lost forever. But they're _here_, behind strong glass like he really is dead. Well, he sort of was to them, but he's back again. And everything is different.

The rest of The Avengers - and Sam - are right behind him. Tony somehow rented the place out so they could look around in peace. Steve, nor any of the others, have ever been there. But when they realized that Bucky Barnes has a small section there dedicated to her, they make sure to check it out, hoping to get some information on the woman who is practically a ghost.

Even Natasha doesn't know what to expect. She's read files and even technically _met _The Winter Soldier, but she doesn't know the first thing about Bucky Barnes.

After the machine read aloud Bucky's biography, they were a little bit more familiar with who she was, but Steve was saying how they didn't even even crack the surface of Jamie Buchanan Barnes. So they looked around a bit more, and found a display claiming it had genuine letters from Bucky Barnes to Steve Rogers. Letters that never made it to Steve because he ran off to go be Captain America. Steve was excited, because the letters can speak for themselves, literally and figuratively.

"Well, let's listen to all of them and then we'll head back to the tower," Tony says impatiently. Steve nods and presses the button for the first letter, and it starts to read it for them, the voice echoing throughout the room.

"**Dear Steve, I miss you already you little punk, and it's only the second day I've been here dammit. I kept thinking about you when I was tossing and turning in my bed. I hope you weren't too cold last night. I didn't have anyone to snuggle with! There are about five other women here with me. They're something, that's for sure. I think you'd like one of them: Suzy Dodger. She's blonde with big, blue eyes, kinda reminds me of you sometimes. Maybe I'll arrange something for you two when I get back. Did you get yourself killed yet? Tell you what, for every fight you get in is going to equal to a day of me ignoring you. Come to think of it, Mrs. Baker's already keeping track of the number of fights you get into. So you better watch out, you better not cry, and I'm telling you why: Mrs. Baker is watching you on my behalf. See what I did there? Okay I'm about out of ink, Blondie. I'll write again soon! -Bucky Barnes**," the machine finishes. Steve clinks the next button so it can read aloud the next letter. He smiles softly as it continues. The other Avengers all share a look, and quickly all decide mentally to listen to each one. For the sake of learning more about her, or maybe a bit more because this is getting Steve to smile. They all know that the blonde doesn't do that very often.

"**Dear Stevie, I can proudly say I am a lot better at kicking ass then all the other girls. We've been put into testing to see if we're actually real-war material. It's really sexist in my option but that doesn't matter either way does it? Anyway, we were moved after we all proved ourselves, and it's super swell. We're in the 107th with all the other fellas, but we get our own separate sleeping quarters. Obvious reasons there my friend. Some of them keep flirting with me, others ignore me, and the rest hate me. But actually, I'm used to that aren't I? I hope your still breathing. Lord knows you probably are lying in a ditch while I type this. I hope you didn't take me seriously with the whole Mrs. Baker thing, she's not looking out for you. Could never trust anyone with a job that belongs to me and me only. And I know, I know... You can take of yourself, and I promise, I understand. But I do miss you. A ton. Hug Miss. Reed for me the next time you help her with her flowers! -Bucky**."

Steve presses the next button with that same damn smile, and everyone else is starting to understand why Steve wants to save her. From the tone of these letters, they had had to be extremely close right?

"**Dear Steve, I have earned the mens' respect! They all realized yesterday that I'm better at fighting then most of them, which honestly took way too long in my book. You know how mean my left hook is, and now they all know too. What happened was: one of the assholes that kept trying to boink me went a little too far. He honest-to-God grabbed my boobs. Now, at first I didn't realize because obviously - you know me - I don't think of my boobs as something anyone would admire because of their size. But this guy liked 'em real good apparently. So when he was feeling me up, I kneed his happy place and elbowed his head twice. This happened in front of most of the guys, so the story spread pretty fast as you would assume. I spit on him a bit too. Just for good measure. Sending you dream-filled sleeps and Bucky-hugs! -Your Personal Jerk**."

"I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm your replacement-Bucky," Sam announces to Steve before he can clink the next button. "You snuggle Steve to keep him warm at night?" Natasha asks jokingly and everyone laughs. Everyone but Steve and Sam who roll their eyes and chuckle only for a moment.

Steve presses the next button.

"**Dear Punk, Hey there you! We're going on our first mission today, thought I'd send you this before we head off. Taking down an actual HYDRA base. Cool right? I'll kill the bullies for you. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be ****_completely_**** fine. But I have to write an important letter after this one before I go. So sorry this is so short, and that I haven't written to you in a long while. We kind of ran out of ink. If there were squids around I'd go get a refill just so I could send you a single sentence, but sadly that's not the case. How's drawing class? Do you still draw my nose crooked? Hey, how about you draw a picture of me fighting of some Nazis? You can show it to me when I win the war okay? Sorry this is so short, but I have an important message to write before I leave, just in case something happens. But nothing will obviously. I'm too awesome. -Buckinator,"** the voice reads.

Steve isn't smiling now. Bucky wrote that before she got captured. But, there's still one letter left? Is the important letter she mentioned in the previous message the last one? And if that's the case, why didn't she just write whatever she had to say in that one?

"There's one left, Steve," Bruce says suddenly. Steve realizes then that he had been zoning out and rubs the back of his neck before hesitantly presses the last button. Everyone curiously waits to see if it's a normal letter or not.

The voice finally begins, "**Dear Stevie, Ummm... Jesus how do I start this? Well if your getting this letter, I'm so, so, so sorry Stevie. Dammit, dammit, dammit! I...I probably did something stupid didn't I? Okay, please don't cry, Steve. You're a big boy remember? You can take care of yourself, you told me so many times. You proved it so many times. This is my will I guess, or more of my goodbye really. I kinda have a few things I need to say. 1) Don't beat yourself up about this, you had no part in my death. The best way to honor me is to not blame yourself for my death. Because guess what? I'm an idiot. But thankfully I'm your idiot, so if by some chance I'm in heaven you can bet your buttons I'm going to be watching you. Feel free to be freaked out if ghost stuff starts happening to you. 2) Please don't get yourself killed okay? No more pointless fights, Steve. You really don't have anything to prove okay? You always complain about how weak you are, but in reality - your the strongest person I know. You stand up for what's right and put hope in things that any regular Joe would avoid. The fact you can stand up to someone so much bigger than you is amazing. Your morals and spirit just can't be crushed. You're so strong, Stevie. You are a symbol for all the good things in the world. Actually, that's why I think you're so small - because there aren't many good things left in the world. You're really going to hate me for this one, I just know it. 3) I'm really stupid, Stevie. I love you. More than a friend... And I'm sorry you had to find out this way but, someone needed to know. You needed to know. Steve Rogers is my best fella and I wish and probably died thinking about how I wanted so badly to be your best girl.**

"**From the moment I saw you, I felt so happy. I never really ever felt happy, never since my pa and sister died. But you somehow did it Steve, and with every passing day I fell harder and harder. I never really said anything because it was plain as day that you didn't love me like that. So I tried other guys, but none of them could ever compare to you. Not in the slightest. Any dame who looks at your like an actual person and not sick, crippled boy is a keeper, Steve. Promise me you'll marry anyone who looks at you like the way I did. Any dame who looks past you to the bulky fella isn't worth the time of day. I never deserved you, that's why I kept my mouth shut. Our friendship would be ruined too, and I don't think I'd be able to live without you, and I guess this letter kinda backs that statement up, huh? You should also realize that not everyone is going to remember ol' Bucky Barnes. They'll remember Jamie Barnes sure, but Stevie, your the only person on this planet that actually knows the real me. You have to remember all the good times we had, and don't cry too much at my funeral. And hey, whether the casket's empty or not, put that picture you drew of me fighting Nazis in there. I love you, Steve Rogers. My only regrets are: never telling you how much and never getting to discover what it feels like to kiss you.**

"**But there's no way I'm dying over a stupid war. Thank God you'll never going to read this letter. Because I am coming home... I promise. After all, how could I leave you if I'm with you 'till the end of the line? -Your Best Pal, Jamie "Bucky" Barnes**."

No one says anything. It's completely silence except for Steve's shaky breaths. "..._What_?" He murmurs breathlessly, and he swears it feels like he has asthma all over again. He's openly crying, and he knows it. But he doesn't care, because Bucky was in love with him and he never knew and -

"Steve? Are you okay?" Sam is beside him now, Steve stares at him for a moment before attempting to wipe his tears off his face. But he just can't stop sobbing. It's embarrassing and unmanly but he can't help it. This was all his fault! If only he would of caught her. But instead he let her fall and she endured so many horrible things because of it. He has to rescue Bucky. And it's comforting knowing that the rest of the team is game to help him search for her.

"You loved her too, didn't you?" Natasha asks of out no where. Everyone - save Steve - sends her a glare because that is a horrible, cruel question to ask at this time. But she just keeps her eyes evenly on Steve, and he meets her gaze. He sniffles a bit before nodding.

"Guess we both thought the other deserved better," The blond adds mournfully.

Natasha nods before slowly turning around, gaining the attention of everyone. "Okay everyone, let's go catch us a rouge, brainwashed, assassin for Rogers. After all, it's my job to find him a girlfriend, and I got a feeling this one'll be a hook, line, and sinker."


End file.
